When is it officially a mid-life crisis?

Is there a sign post I should be looking for? I did not buy the sports car and I am not fucking my secretary, but I am now constantly re-evaluating my core beliefs.

Is my job, what I should be doing? Is there something else out there that I should be doing that would give me some shred of fulfillment, or has that ship sailed? Did I miss that opportunity and sell my soul to the man years ago? The idealistic me thinks, sure I should go find something else that makes a positive impact in my community, my life, my world but the realistic me think that I will embark on this journey for work fulfillment just to find that no matter what I do, it will eventually feel like work and work sucks!

Am I in the relationship I should be in? Is there some mythical partner our there that would complement me so perfectly that everyday will feel like Shangri-La? Or is Jay right? There is only one women out there with a million faces?

Is my spiritual belief system bankrupt? Is there a higher power of some kind that I should be paying more attention to? I don’t mean some bullshit, dogmatic finger wagging old man in the sky. I am talking about the true life force of all things. If this force exists, is there a set of life rules that I should be adhering to? Maybe it is all about the existential connection of all things. Maybe that is why I find myself more and more preoccupied with the question of am I leaving this world better than I found it? I am unjustly judging other people and thus making their life less fulfilling and sending out negative vibes? Does any of that shit matter?

I am starting to think about how I can become more self sustaining. Grow my own food? waste of time? Less television? Will it make a difference. Stop spending all of my positive effort and energy on trying to sort out the minutia of everyday life. By constantly concerning myself with the little shit, all I am doing is avoiding the really tough questions.

So again I ask…at what point is it officially a mid-life crisis? Is there defining event that signifies..Yes this is a mid life crisis? Or is it like a bad shoe in blackjack? You can never tell it is happening until after it is over and you have lost $300 in 10 minutes? Will I look back from my new home in a cardboard box that I now reside in because my attempts at a zero carbon footprint resulted in me with a dead garden, no job and no wife because I stopped showering and realize…yep that was definitely a midlife crisis????

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