Buy The Cow

Well you have just reached your thirties, you have accepted your roll in middle america as one of the expedible masses, you have accepted that you will never play shortstop for the Detroit Tigers and you will never win a superbowl. You have accepted that you will never date Alyssa Milano and you will never stumble upon a threesome with 2 supermodels (or three) and you can live with that. You will never grow your hair out like Eddie Vedder, you will never own a convertible mercedes, you will never have the abs of an underwear model, you will never play lead guitar for Green Day, you will never camp in the serengeti and you will never, ever, ever again get the milk for free because, against the advice of all those who had tread the ground before you, you Bought the cow, NOW WHAT?!!

As I get older I find myself more and more living life through the fucking television.  Mad Men, Dexter, all of the Law and Orders.  It doesn’t matter as long as I can find a character I can relate to or wish I was.  Maybe not a character, maybe a location, Vegas, Miami, any of the multitude of CSIs even Alaska, I want to be there.  I guess it is a symptom of the true problem, which is that our lives (my life) are so empty that we will take any escape we can get.  Even a men’s prison (Oz).  Do people really eat ketchup on meatloaf? WTF??  Sorry, I digress.  This leads to the reason I can’t understand reality TV.  There all take place on a sound stage so there are no locations and all os the characters are douchebags so when is to covet?  Another thing, V is back?  Is the creative talent in the television writing circle so inspirationally bancrupt that they have nothing better to do than rehash old shitty TV?  I can look the other way when you hand me ER or Greys Anatomy and tell me is it not Trapper John MD or NYPD Blue and tell me it is not Hill Street Blues.  But to take shitty TV from the 80s  and 90s (bev Hills 90210, Melrose Place, V) and simply remake them?? What is next, Miami Vice?  Oh wait they did that as a movie, along with The Dukes of Hazard and a laundry list of other shitty TV shows.  Just wait for The A Team coming to a Movie screen near you.  If they remake HardCastle and McCormick or tales of the Golden monkey, I am shutting it down forever.