Buy The Cow

What the hell is happening????  I remember when only waitresses, bellhops and strippers got tips!  Now i can’t go into any donut shop, coffee shop, sandwich stand, pizza joint, men’s room (even unattended) without out seeing a jar or even a styrofoam cup marked “tips” or some dude with his hand out.  You know what is even worse?  It is becoming industry standard for establishments that traditionally get tips to add an automatic 15%,  this is bullshit!!!!  I heard somewhere that tips is a acronym for “to insure prompt service”  I don’t know how true this is considering that the word in that context would be “ensure” not “insure” but the message is sound.  A tip is supposed to be a gratuity given “above and beyond” the listed cost for service that was “above and beyond” what is expected.  GRATUITY meaning that i am grateful for what you did.  If you ignore me, act like you are doing me a favor for being there and then bring me the wrong order and make me feel bad for mentioning it, what am I grateful about?  In addition if your only job is to ask me what i want and then hand it to me, is it possible for you to go above and beyond?  Like Bill Mahr said “if your whole role is to take my coffee order and then pass it across the counter when it is ready, you are not waiting on me, I am waiting on you!”  Since every job imaginable now has a tip jar or sign that reads “we accept tips”  not even “tips are a appreciated” ( don’t you think that if it was concieveable that you should get a tip for what you did, you probably would not need a sign to let me know that you accept them)  it makes everyone think they should get them, plumbers, mechanics, bus drivers.  It is like me where a t-shirt that say “I accept blowjobs”. Really? No shit?  so if someone wanted to give you money, you would take it, shocking!  The question is why the fuck would i want to give you extra money?  What’s next teachers asking for tips from their students because they bothered to show up?  Cops arriving to the scene faster if you slip them a $20?  Hey service industry, quit grubbing for money and do your fucking jobs!  If I think that the service you provided was more than I expected I may CHOOSE to tip you, get it?  I may choose to do it.  If you don’t get a tip it is because you suck at your job, get better at it or get a job that pays better.  Oh and for the establishments that enforce a sliding manditory tips policy for big parties of people, it’s extortion!  you should just be happy we chose this fucking dump in the first place!